day by day, i keep on telling myself that everything gonna be back to normal.
the results?frustrated every time i woke up!myself is lying to me. its not getting better even.
day by day, i keep on telling myself not to show my pain to other people.
but why cant i stop myself from searching my gals?why cant i hide it gud enough till my mom smell something strange about my behavior?
im getting miserable as he came into my life for a while once again. Only for a while. Dont know whats actually he's doing or thinking, but he pained me even deep. thanks to him.
try to make myself busy as possible but still, the hectic life of mine didnt success in making me cheer like before.
im gettin miserable.crazy.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
soul sisters.
The three teenaged girls laughed in girlish gaiety. Dressed in their uniforms,their youthful banter never seem to cease. It looks like there's soooo much to share. There's sooo much to talk about, I guess.
This scenario flooded me with memories about my very own teenage years. I too had two very good friends. Norhajar Mahat, Nor Syazana Mostar and I were inseparable. We were always together. Going to the canteen together, walking hand in hand towards our classroom, even accompanying each other to the toilet!!! It may sound corny (oppsss) but that's what we did by keeping watch for the other, while one of us answered the call of nature (weeee...) Those were the days, my friend. (mishhhh).
We shared most everything with each other. We would tell every little detail about a boy one of us used to fancy. Our problem at home. Our aspirations. Our ambitions. We promised never to part, always remaining true to our threesome friendship. Something like till death do us apart.
Our naivety in thinking that our friendship would withstand time, especially the complication of adulthood was legendary. Everyone in school secretly envied us, I believe. This I know from their one liners like, "What are you, triplets?" or "Where are your sisters?".
Believe me I think we were more than sisters. We were like soul sisters. If ever anyone of us faced a problem, the other two would swing into the action. You know, when we were little we want our parents very much but come adolescence, its friendship that we cherish the most. This is the time we dont want to be seen too much with parents. But say hanging out with friends, especially best friends, we could do it all day long.
My mom used to ponder how is it after spending half day at school, nite at tuition classes we could still call each other up at home at gossiping about the goings on in our youthful life. I am sure Kid's mom and Channa's mom felt the same way.
Life was good and everything was fine until that fateful day. Kid had to go to Dublin for further studies.It was like a nuclear explosion for me and Channa. I know Kid was pained somehow but she's got to go.
That day Channa and I went home solemn. It was a new beginning for us. It dawned upon us that we were no longer that giggly teens. We are now at the threshold of adulthood, I guess. Things are bound to change.
To make a long story short, all of us parted ways. I had my life to lead, Channa hers and Kid still in Dublin build her career. We hardly met or even called. Only few sms'es and messengers keeps us contacting each other.
But deep down inside each one of us, I am pretty sure, our memories as soul sisters still lingers.
xoxo. till next.
This scenario flooded me with memories about my very own teenage years. I too had two very good friends. Norhajar Mahat, Nor Syazana Mostar and I were inseparable. We were always together. Going to the canteen together, walking hand in hand towards our classroom, even accompanying each other to the toilet!!! It may sound corny (oppsss) but that's what we did by keeping watch for the other, while one of us answered the call of nature (weeee...) Those were the days, my friend. (mishhhh).
We shared most everything with each other. We would tell every little detail about a boy one of us used to fancy. Our problem at home. Our aspirations. Our ambitions. We promised never to part, always remaining true to our threesome friendship. Something like till death do us apart.
Our naivety in thinking that our friendship would withstand time, especially the complication of adulthood was legendary. Everyone in school secretly envied us, I believe. This I know from their one liners like, "What are you, triplets?" or "Where are your sisters?".
Believe me I think we were more than sisters. We were like soul sisters. If ever anyone of us faced a problem, the other two would swing into the action. You know, when we were little we want our parents very much but come adolescence, its friendship that we cherish the most. This is the time we dont want to be seen too much with parents. But say hanging out with friends, especially best friends, we could do it all day long.
My mom used to ponder how is it after spending half day at school, nite at tuition classes we could still call each other up at home at gossiping about the goings on in our youthful life. I am sure Kid's mom and Channa's mom felt the same way.
Life was good and everything was fine until that fateful day. Kid had to go to Dublin for further studies.It was like a nuclear explosion for me and Channa. I know Kid was pained somehow but she's got to go.
That day Channa and I went home solemn. It was a new beginning for us. It dawned upon us that we were no longer that giggly teens. We are now at the threshold of adulthood, I guess. Things are bound to change.
To make a long story short, all of us parted ways. I had my life to lead, Channa hers and Kid still in Dublin build her career. We hardly met or even called. Only few sms'es and messengers keeps us contacting each other.
But deep down inside each one of us, I am pretty sure, our memories as soul sisters still lingers.
xoxo. till next.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
last weekend
my last saturday went very well as it was like a "family day" for us. All of us were gathered then we were watching my younger brother football matched. Negri Sembilan VS Selangor. The game was great since me and my mom being the no.1 supporters not just for my brother but for the team and the game was controlled by N.Sembilan (im happy with that!!) even the referee looks so biased towards N.Sembilan players. For the first half, number 14 player scored for N.Sembilan team but unfortunately the result was end up with draw (1-1) when the Selangor's player got the penalty when the N.Sembilan made a fault. It's ok anyway, you all have done your best for the team.
- the game was end -
done with the game. I cant wait for dat night, just to see how many people still do remember me and my birthday. Not to say I am sooo popular and to count how many people do wish me. Unfortunately, the receiver at Meru, Klang (my brother-in-law hometown) is soooo bad as I cant hear my phone beep even for once. It was a huge dissappointment when I just received so many messages during on my way back to Seremban and a few people that I expect to wish me but they didn't do so (maybe, they forgot about that day, have no credit, or they just dont care about that.!!) but it was unexpected when there are some who I didn't expect at all to wish me were wished for my 21st birthday. (thank you sooo much for the wishes darl!ng..).
there are no new resolutions for my 21st birthday because there are so many accrued resolutions that I do still have to pay!!
gosh!! I am 21 yrs old already..many responsibilities I have to take care about as Im getting older..but thank ALLAH because gave me some more times to live in this pretty world with my beloved family and closed friends. LOVE SOOOO MUCHHH...
till next..;)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
terkenang
hurm...tengah santai-santai di office, kebosanan melanda..dengan secara tiba-tiba terkenang all the memories of me and him..
"we had a terrible dispute..then he has been gone for few months with no calls, sms to say sorry..and now he dare to turn up and ask whether Im still mad?! After few months? *&%!!#! Be real, I cant even recognize your voice on the phone anymore...OMG it's becoming harder and harder to meet responsible man nowadays...."
*sigh*
"everytime I try to let go, he came into my life for a while..ONLY FOR A WHILE!!..he broke my heart into pieces which was hard for me in fixing it......"
Thursday, April 24, 2008
for the very first time
For the very first time I do this blog thingy. There's nothing much I want to write here cuz ya "its the first time" and I need few moments to think about what do I have to put in hereee..I've read so many blogs before and i found it quite interesting but never have any intention to own it for myself (except that friendster blog which is "hidup segan mati tak mahu") . Luckily, I have one new friend who is keenly to registering it for me (extremely thanks for you). So, by unintentionally I'm already being one of the bloggers.
As for today, I'm just doing nothing at my office and it can be said that today is "unproductive day" or "grey's day" or "prison's day" or simply can be said as "downloading day" (my second job specialization..ngee ) . That's it for today, see ya!!
As for today, I'm just doing nothing at my office and it can be said that today is "unproductive day" or "grey's day" or "prison's day" or simply can be said as "downloading day" (my second job specialization..ngee ) . That's it for today, see ya!!
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